Hold On

01 October 2016 | By andrena in Church, grace, Healing, Health, TheBook

Today’s reflection:  Our Daily Bread:  Hold On

I’m sure we all have viewed some figurative towering cliffs in our lives. Some of them beautiful, some of them terrifying. I know I have.

I don’t know that I could brave that cable car without a motor to reach those heights. I don’t know that I could brave the cable car WITH a motor. I am terribly afraid of heights. And yet, there have been times in my life when I have traveled the “cable cars of life”… willingly stepping into situations where someone else was in control of the ride.

Most of you know my testimony: I grew up a witness to domestic violence in my house, suffered sexual abuse at the hands of my father, endured domestic violence in my first marriage, and throughout the ride I calmed my fears with drugs and alcohol. I became homeless and contracted the HIV virus. Holding on was NOT an option….my cable car lost control and zipped and dipped through my life. Catching my breath was the closest thing I could do, to holding on.

And then I met the woman who was bent over in the bible,  (The bent over woman and Jesus).  And I met the man called Jesus, who told her to straighten up, and that she was free from her ailment(s). I also heard the leader of the synagogue fussing because Christ had the audacity to heal this woman.  That story became my cable, it became the motor which would slow the cable car down for me to get off, straighten myself up and get on another cable car.

Life has been a beautiful, sometimes dizzying ride up mountains and even down into the valleys.  Only someone who has gone through their own trials and unraveling cables can understand.  Only someone who has come out on the other side would understand the beauty of this gospel, the beauty of my life, the beauty of my journey.  I hold on to my Creator every minute of the day.  Twenty eight years later, I still step into a car that is not really meant for me and taken on a ride.  I fight against verbally backing people up off of me.  I fight against hating.  I fight against using.  Not just using drugs/alcohol…but using behaviors which will send my cable car spiraling into an abyss of confusion, while at the same time dodging arrows meant to harm me.

I hold on to the moment I heard that story. 

Little did that woman in the scripture know that she was about to go on the ride of her life.  Straightening up, she praised God.  That is my cable car story.   That is the beginning of my faith journey.  I should be in the Olympics the amount of times I have run a race.   Do I always come across the finish line first?  No… and that is not important.  I have stumbled many times.  But I always get back up and continue on; with the help of my friends – and even with the help of those who do not like/understand me.  The naysayers spur me on, as well.

I have fought all my life, and those who know me, know that even in the midst of the battles, I find joy.  I am grateful.

  • I was used and abused
  • I smoked crack
  • I drank alcohol
  • I ran the streets
  • I was homeless
  • I was beat up and down
  • I contracted HIV
  • I am now living with heart failure

I am a pastor.

This may be the most surprising twist of all!

I may not be the conventional pastor most are used to seeing in the pulpit or on your travels.  I am the pastor who understands everything under the diaspora of the human condition, and judges you not.  Christ accepts me as I am, and uses me for whatever.  I meet everyone where they are.  Do I get it right all the time?  No.  I ask forgiveness and keep it moving.

I am an anointed child of God, worthy of the gifts bestowed upon me by my Creator.  The gifts of grace, mercy, love and forgiveness.

and a little bit of lip. 🙂

And no one can take that away from me.  It doesn’t matter if you do not understand me, or don’t agree with who I am and who God has raised me up to be. I understand how projection works.  You will have people who want to project their insecurities on to you.  You will have people who want to project their privilege on to you.  That may cause your cable car to sway…

Hold on.

Hold on and pray.  Hold on and know that you are worthy in your Creator’s eyes.  Unlike that woman who was not deemed worthy to the leaders in the synagogue.  She was worthy to Christ.

I urge you to find your cable car experience … and hold on.  Hold on and share it.

It may turn out to be a bumpy ride, you need to remember it and someone may need to hear it.

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Bad Behavior has blocked 46 access attempts in the last 7 days.