All Posts in the ‘DatLife’ Category

Ow!

September 3rd, 2016 | By andrena in betrayal, Church, DatLife, Friends, friendship, Rant | No Comments »

When situations arise which are displeasing to me, or hurtful to me, I ALWAYS before speaking take a good long look at myself (personal inventory) to see whether or not my ego is speaking, or if I am responding with my ego. I almost always (to keep the peace) find some way to put it on me…

You know, the “if I hadn’t, if I didn’t, I should’ve”… all those “wudda shudda’s”

I always find some way to bring it all the way back to me…and blame myself for someone else’s hurt.

But you know what? Sometimes I have been and get hurt too! A lot of times, I have been hurt, for real, for real! This is not victim talk…it’s my truth.

It’s all I can do not to sit on the ground and grab my boo-boo, and just rock back and forth crying Ow!!!

via GIPHY

It’s real life! Forget about being a ‘person of the cloth’, upon which heaps of feelings are heaped upon us at will. I bleed, I get angry, I hurt just like anybody else. My challenge? To respond appropriately…not accordingly…but appropriately.

I guess as I take pains to ‘reinvent’ myself yet again; I shall respond accordingly. In an appropriate manner.

I can’t go back to the Bronx; I refuse to let you take me there. I look at where I am today, and realize that through it all, my Creator is taking great pains to get me to listen and to elevate me.

It’s a lonely road.  But it’s okay. It’s never stopped me before.

Sitting on the edge…

March 27th, 2015 | By andrena in betrayal, Church, DatLife, grace, Healing, Health, Rant | No Comments »
When you wake up early in the morning and sit on the side of your bed like.

When you wake up early in the morning and sit on the side of your bed like.

A few weeks ago, the topic of my women’s group was “How Do You Wake Up and Greet the Day?”…basically talking about how you wake up kinda sets the pace for the day, sets the tone. We need to be very intentional about that.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I wake up with my mind racing a thousand miles a minute, trying to figure out what needs to be taken care of during the day.

Usually, I AM that fox sitting on the chair by the side of the bed, just staring off into space…looking beat up before the day even begins.

Oh God, another day! Ugh!

In our group we spoke about different things to do, to gently ease our way into the day…to take our time…to exhale deeply after a waking up. Other tips:

  • setting your radio alarm clock to some soothing music instead of a blaring sound which startles you into the day.
  • lying in place, and a short meditation, listening to your heartbeat, paying attention to your breath.
  • how about simply taking the time to give thanks for the blessings we have.
  • an inventory of how we would like the day to proceed, visualize some light and love in there somewhere.
  • as we arise, a nice stretch – and even a glass of water.

Those were tips we spoke about to set the tone for our days, to wake up in a healthy state of relaxation and calm.  I ‘reckon’ it to being birthed into a new day!

And then there was this morning.  I awoke, didn’t do any of those suggested things (I know, you have to be very intentional about it, until it becomes natural to do) …

What I did do, is reach for my smartphone to check my emails…and lawd ha’mercy, why did I do that?

Because there was an email that was so rude, and filled with sarcasm, and cute little clever words.  My initial email to this person, simply asked a question.  I read my email over and over to see if there was anything to be misconstrued…no!  At least not from my end.

Now, this person, I gather is very anxious, and nervous, and busy.  I understand that.  I even apologized for sending my query.  There really was no need to “come at my neck like that.

I get so sick and tired of people saying things to me and thinking that I have to just take it.  I find it disrespectful and very unhealthy.  God forbid, I respond “in kind”.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Well, my bad!  I learned a very important lesson this morning.  Along with all the other tips, the first one should and WILL BE from now on, is to save the smart phone and emails until I get downstairs in the office.  I will own that.  I got what I asked for.  No need to be checking emails as soon as I open my eyes.  It has waited all night or at the very best a few hours…

…another hour until I got downstairs would not hurt.

  • I don’t have to wake up with you guys in my head as soon as I open my eyes.
  • I don’t have to breathe in your words and your feelings as the Creator wakes me for another day.
  • I don’t have to invite you into my morning space.

…and I won’t anymore.

btw:  you really ought to take care how you talk to me, and to people in general. 

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