I had that “Angry Birds” game for a good minute on my phone! Literally! After the first few rounds, I was done! I despise that game, and couldn’t understand for the life of me, what folks saw in it. Well, let me take that back….there was an addictive draw to it. As soon as I would pull that sling back, and let it go – I would feel some kinda way, like *you just got suckered into this game again*.
It wasn’t until I finally just swiped it OFFA my phone, that I was done with it! Thank goodness!
The same can be said of people. People can be ANGRY BIRDS. After a few things which have happened to me in the past two weeks. I just want to say: Don’t be an ANGRY BIRD! It’s not healthy!
ANGRY BIRDS can be bullies! Spewing forth their anger. Anger from those ANGRY BIRDS can spread…and yes, anger can be a trigger!
I recently had a situation with some family members. Not immediate. But close enough. Had to shut that down. A little painful, yes…but had to swipe that offa my wall.
And just recently, I fell face first by my own volition, into a situation where an ANGRY BIRD revealed itself. I had a large part to play in that one. Grateful to be able to get the lesson.
Coming out of my therapist office, this past Thursday, I was recognized by a woman who knows of me from some of my HIV work, and an interview she read in a magazine. “Are you that woman, that pastor?” This is not the first time this has happened; being recognized on the street – especially the community where my doctor’s office is located. “Yes, I am her” I responded. She heaped complements, I sucked it up. Humbled by it, but yes, liking it. I took her contact and hugged her and yes, I contacted her, and she responded with a need to meet with me.
As I often do, with others who contact me to talk, I invited her to meet with me, for a nominal fee of course…as nominal as nominal could be, like maybe a weeks worth of coffee money. I understood that because of the office we were coming out of, that folks don’t have a lot of resources. I also understand that my time, outside of my congregation and my regular duties is valuable. I thought a week’s worth of coffee, was more than reasonable.
In addition, I explained to her that I was on the tail end of Lent, preparing for Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Resurrection Sunday. I told her that I would be taking some time away after Easter and wouldn’t be back in the office until May 6.
I ingratiated myself with her further, by inviting her to our Community Meal, and to our service. NOT because I was trying to get her to come to church, but rather, that it would be an additional time to speak with me outside of coming into my office for a weeks worth of coffee. It would be free time, during the community meal – or after worship. I NEVER would force anyone to come to church. I made it plain in my response, that it would be an additional time to have a word with me.
Lord, ha’mercy! I received a response from her claiming that I was trying to CHANGE her! (what?) … how she had been looking for me for two years. She said that I should be doing my work “pro bono”. She wasn’t getting any help from the “same therapist”, I am seeing, mind you. She then said: “let me leave you with this“…. at which point I just couldn’t go any further, because I felt that familiar feeling bubbling up.
I wrote her back, trying to clean up what was obviously a misunderstanding, and I’m not trying to change you…and blather, blather, blather… feeling sorry that she misunderstood what I was saying.
…and then I thought to myself: NO!
See… another thing ANGRY BIRDS do, is direct their anger inappropriately. All that stuff she had for me, was not for me. She is an ANGRY BIRD! I don’t know what is REALLY going on in her life. Here’s part of the problem. I met you coming out of my therapist’s office!
That right there, should’ve been a boundary for me. And seriously, it should’ve been an issue for her as well. Both of us in the therapist office. And you wanna make an appointment with me. Not that I am off my rocker or anything. But I do have issues.
Being on the tail-end of someone else’s ANGER is one of them. I don’t do anger well. Oh…I try, to be passive and graceful… and I do to a certain extent. But there comes a point where it is: “Ahhhhhh NO!, I don’t think so”
Of course she threw in there stuff about me being a pastor, as people usually do…they get it twisted, that we are just supposed to be available at their beck and call. We are supposed to take whatever they feel like doling out to us. Well, that may work for some clergy. But NO!
I will not disrespect you…but neither will I be disrespected.
Coming out of that office, I should’ve accepted gracefully her complement, and kept it moving. I should not have contacted her.
Swiping that ANGRY BIRD …
Don’t be an ANGRY BIRD! ….. Girl, bye!