Father, father….

21 June 2015 | By andrena in betrayal, family, grace, Healing, rage | No Comments Yet

Happy Fathers Day in honor of all the little girls who lost their fathers due to abuse, who have lost their heart and the safety of their childhood, in the dark of those terrible places.

Father, father, why you let me go?

For all little girls, who were groomed and ‘set aside'; traumatized.

“You’ve gone too far from what I know”…and have spent their lives reclaiming that part of themselves they lost in the dark and skipping into the light.

For ALL the abused children in the world, who grew up behind secret doors, hiding their pain, when all they wanted was to love and be loved.

If you are not already, I pray you find safe places and safe people to release your pain, safe places that will allow you to love and be loved. The whole you.  I am still healing.

I pray you love YOU. There is grace in there somewhere.  Perhaps the grace is knowing that I am not alone and I continue to give voice to the betrayal and trauma.  If you are out there, know that you are not alone. It is a road well traveled, just hushed.

Forgiveness is a process. I am sad. I miss having and knowing a real father.

“Father, please”.

Caitlyn by any other name…

01 June 2015 | By andrena in General | No Comments Yet

I will probably be called a hater for this, although by no means am I wishing the person/s any malice.  I am very happy that they get to find their lives and live it.

Reminds me of a interview Oprah was doing with this woman who is living with HIV.  Oprah reminded her how things are better now, because look at Magic Johnson.  The woman stopped her in her tracks and reminded Oprah, that Magic, while living with HIV, does not live with it the way most of us do.  Most of us ‘regular’ folk.  

I appreciate and respect Magic and Caitlyn for the message they send…that yes, you can live…and yes…follow who you really are.  They have a platform that can be used to help others.

But here is how I feel.  

I give more respect to those in the trenches, finding themselves and jumping through all the hoops they have to jump through in order to be who they really are…in the midst of being ostracized and bullied and made to feel less than, and who continue to push through – without the financial ability to make life a ‘little’ easier.

Money may not take all that away…but it certainly makes it easier.  

I would love to see some of my transgender friends on the cover of Vanity Fair.  They deserve it.  They are just as beautiful and just as brave, if not more.

Is Caitlyn beautiful?  Yes.  Do I give her props for ‘doing her’?  Yes.  

But being transgender calls for more than beauty, displayed on Vanity Fair.  Ask London Chanel, Diamond Williams, Stacey Lee, and Kyra Kruz to name a few Philadelphia women. Being transgender calls for inner strength, determination, emotional and spiritual support, feeling safe, and afforded this same rights as everyone else.

They were beautiful and deserved their moment to shine and be all they could be as well.  They deserve recognition for living lives of struggle for simply trying to live in a humane society.  Instead, they were murdered, because of who they were.  They were not afforded a life of relative safety. They were Caitlyn by any other name….and any other economic status, any other homeless shelter due to being thrown out of their homes. I pray Caitlyn will truly be a spokesperson for all her different names.

Congrats to Caitlyn! However, I for one, will be more impressed with her voice, and resources when all this simmers down.  Someone else will be on Vanity Fair next month.

I’m waiting to see how she uses her new platform.

You betta WERK!

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