When situations arise which are displeasing to me, or hurtful to me, I ALWAYS before speaking take a good long look at myself (personal inventory) to see whether or not my ego is speaking, or if I am responding with my ego. I almost always (to keep the peace) find some way to put it on me…
You know, the “if I hadn’t, if I didn’t, I should’ve”… all those “wudda shudda’s”
I always find some way to bring it all the way back to me…and blame myself for someone else’s hurt.
But you know what? Sometimes I have been and get hurt too! A lot of times, I have been hurt, for real, for real! This is not victim talk…it’s my truth.
It’s all I can do not to sit on the ground and grab my boo-boo, and just rock back and forth crying Ow!!!
It’s real life! Forget about being a ‘person of the cloth’, upon which heaps of feelings are heaped upon us at will. I bleed, I get angry, I hurt just like anybody else. My challenge? To respond appropriately…not accordingly…but appropriately.
I guess as I take pains to ‘reinvent’ myself yet again; I shall respond accordingly. In an appropriate manner.
I can’t go back to the Bronx; I refuse to let you take me there. I look at where I am today, and realize that through it all, my Creator is taking great pains to get me to listen and to elevate me.
It’s a lonely road. But it’s okay. It’s never stopped me before.